A few centuries ago we used fairy tales to explain the unexplainable. Things were simpler in those days. He did not look like his father because he was a changeling. She died a spinster because a black cat once walked across her path. He died because he once walked below a ladder. She threw a hysterical fit because the woman next door stared at her. Life was good, life was easy, and it was a remarkably simple and logical matter to find explanations for life’s little mysteries.
In 2016 we have a better handle on how life works. DNA testing can assuage your fears about your child’s parentage. We know cats of any color are actually perfection, and that spinsterhood is not bad luck. Walking beneath a ladder is still a bad idea but if anything bad does happen it will at least happen quickly. And to this day, I have been largely unsuccessful in my attempts to cast spells by simply glaring at people.
With the advances of science, we now know the reasons behind most of life’s mysteries, yet our own bad behavior still confuses us. We can no longer blame our bad behavior on the witch next door, but we do have those bewitching candy-colored apps which live on our smartphones.
These apps take the blame for our bad behavior every day. Tinder waves its magical wand and makes us superficial creatures. Twitter nurtures our ability to not pay attention to anything longer than 140 characters. Instagram turns us all into the worst kind of braggers. Snapchat creates sexting monsters of us all. Pokemon Go has brought on the zombie apocalypse and is selling your data to people you wouldn’t want to meet. No matter what your fault is, there’s an app for that.
But that’s not the way life works. You may be unable to see past the surface of a pretty face. You may lack the patience to read entire articles. You may hashtag your photo #soblessed because you are oblivious to the world’s problems. You may overshare. You may actually be a zombie. But whatever your flaw is, it’s probably safe to say that you weren’t cursed by an app.